Even
by Ariadnerue
Summary: Once upon a time, he wouldn't have felt the least bit threatened by Jemma Simmons. But she was different now. He could see that. He had caused it. Oneshot.


_This show hurts my heart. I just want FitzSimmons to be together again. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY._

_SHIELD belongs to Marvel and ABC._

* * *

When Ward woke up in his cell that day, he immediately knew something was wrong.

He was drowsy and his limbs felt heavy, making it difficult for him to sit up. His immediate assumption was that he had been drugged, but that didn't make sense. He was still in his cell, right where he had fallen asleep. Besides that, he was being cooperative. Coulson had no need to drug him.

His train of thought was interrupted when his senses sluggishly returned, and he realized someone else was in the room. He sat up fully on the edge of his bed and blinked at the chair on the other side of the laser grid.

Of all the people he had expected it to be, she was the very last on the list.

"Did you sleep well?" Jemma Simmons asked.

Ward stared at her. There was a coldness to her tone that he had never heard, and though he should have been expecting it, it still surprised him. His training kicked in, analyzing her for changes and weaknesses. She was thinner than the last time he saw her. She hadn't been eating well. There were bags under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping, either. Her expression was hard and calculating. There wasn't a hint of fear in her eyes. All he saw was anger and intelligence, focused on him like a surgical laser beam.

Once upon a time, he wouldn't have felt the least bit threatened by Jemma Simmons. But she was different now. He could see that. He had caused it.

"You should have slept well," she continued after a few moments. She was sitting with her arms folded over her chest and legs crossed, perfectly still but for the occasional blink. "I slipped sedatives into your food."

Ward's eyes widened and his knuckles turned white on the edge of his bed. If she got any satisfaction from the terror in his reaction, she didn't show it.

"No one even noticed," she added with a slight shrug. "It could have just as easily been any one of twenty-nine undetectable poisons I could have made in the lab that would have killed you without leaving a trace."

Ward's blood ran cold.

"Or if I wanted to be more theatrical about it, I could have slipped in any number of substances that would have made your life so painful you would have wished I'd killed you," she went on carelessly. It was the carelessness, Ward realized, that unnerved him the most. His eyes flicked to the corners of the ceiling, shrouded in darkness, where he knew there were security cameras. She noticed. "No one is coming, Ward. They know I'm here. They think I'm gathering intel from you because I'm about to leave."

That was the first thing she'd said that truly didn't make any sense. She was about to leave. Without Fitz? That was impossible.

"Leave?" he repeated quietly. "Alone?"

He had stopped himself from saying "without Fitz" at the last second. If he said his name she probably would have killed him with her bare hands.

"Yes, alone," she replied coolly. "I'm going undercover at a Hydra base in London."

Again he was surprised. Simmons couldn't go undercover. She was the worst liar he had ever seen. But he stopped himself. The old Simmons, perhaps. This was a new Simmons.

"But I don't want your help, nor do I need it," she continued. "I just wanted to show you that I could have killed you. I could have done it, and no one would have mourned you." Ward swallowed hard. "But I didn't. Do you know why?"

Ward didn't answer. He looked at his feet.

"You saved my life once," she answered for him. She still hadn't moved an inch, just keeping her steely gaze on him. "You jumped out of a plane to save me. And though I know now that it was just part of standard deep cover tactics, the fact remains that I'm alive because you did it."

He flinched when she brought up deep cover tactics. That was what he'd said to Raina when she asked how he'd gotten the team to trust him.

"But we're even now," she went on, and he met her eyes again. "I'm alive because you saved me, and now you're alive because I decided not to kill you. I no longer owe you anything."

Ward almost felt relieved. Almost.

"But you should know, no amount of apologizing or trying to become a better person will ever make you even with Fitz," Simmons added. She had finally moved, and he had finally heard the slightest tremor in her voice when she said his name. She had uncrossed her legs and was leaning forward a bit, keeping his gaze locked on hers. "Because he believed in you. He gave you every chance, every opportunity, and now I have to leave him because of what you did."

Ward didn't really understand what she meant by that, why he had caused her to have to leave, but he didn't doubt her. Nor did he ask her to clarify.

"It's alright, though, because I leave knowing you'll be punished," she sighed. Ward frowned a bit. They hadn't been torturing him or anything. He was just locked down here. "You see, Skye told me what you said to her."

Ward's heart did a slow twist.

"She told me that despite all the lies, you claimed you truly loved her," Simmons continued coldly. "She was nearly sick just telling me about it, but I believe you." Ward's eyes widened a bit. "It's true. I believe you, because I know love. I've felt it in every fiber of my being. I know the heartache and the passion, I know the longing and the joy. I've known love since my first day at the Academy, I just didn't realize it until you almost took him from me."

Ward didn't move. He was afraid to. He just maintained eye contact, feeling smaller with every word she spoke.

"And even though what you feel for Skye is a sad, twisted version of it, I recognized it in the way you looked at her," she finished quietly. "And therein lies your punishment."

She stared at him for a few long moments, and Ward felt helpless. It wasn't a feeling he was used to. She got to her feet suddenly, stepping right up to the laser grid and looking him dead in the eyes.

"Skye is completely indifferent to you," she said clearly. "She doesn't hate you, because hatred implies passion. She feels nothing for you. In her eyes, you are nothing but a sad, pathetic waste of resources. The most emotion I've seen her display over you is slight irritation when she heard that you'd been requesting to speak to her. And if she ever does come down here, it will only be because you have information she needs."

Simmons' words were so vehement, he could practically feel them stinging as they reached his ears. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"She's all you have to live for," Simmons said at last, her words clear and sharp. "And if you dropped dead right now, she wouldn't even notice."

Without another word, Simmons turned on her heel and walked up the stairs. She paused at the door.

"Goodbye, Ward," she called without looking at him. "You won't see me again."

The door slammed. Ward lied back down on his bed and didn't move for hours.


End file.
